Dating Violence: Using Technology for Detection and Intervention

iKeepSafe supports the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s (CDC) mission to prevent unhealthy behavior through reducing factors that increase risk, and increasing factors that promote resilience. We endorse their commitment to accomplish prevention through “all levels of  influence: individual, relationship, community, and societal” [1]. We hope to empower parents, educators, and mentors to use technology as a tool for identifying risk and promoting resilience within their own communities.

Dating violence refers to any kind of abuse—emotional, physical, or sexual—between dating partners. Young people are particularly vulnerable to dating violence. According to a recent study, one in four adolescents reports being in an abusive relationship [2].

Our high-tech world sometimes enables the abuse. For example, text messaging becomes abusive when a boyfriend continuously texts his girlfriend demanding her location or plans for the evening, or when a girlfriend refuses to stop texting her boyfriend until he responds. This kind of text messaging is called textual harassment, and it is a form of emotional control. Social networks can also become tools for control. One in ten teens have had a boyfriend or girlfriend dFemand a password for email or social network accounts [3]. And, one in ten teens have had a boyfriend or girlfriend demand they un-friend someone on a social network [3]. One Rhode Island teen was forced by her boyfriend to delete every male contact on her account, and then coerced to close it altogether [4].

However, technology can also facilitate the discovery of destructive behavior patterns, and it can help prevent abuse from happening. If parents, educators, and mentors are aware of the risk factors and warning signs, they can use technology as another tool to prevent and detect abusive relationships among the young people they know.

Risk Factors
According to the CDC, the following are common risk factors for perpetrating dating violence:

• Alcohol use.
• Having a friend involved in dating violence.
• Having problem behaviors in other areas.
• Belief that dating violence is acceptable.
• Exposure to harsh parenting.
• Exposure to inconsistent discipline.
• Lack of parental supervision, monitoring, and warmth. [2]

Warning Signs (Victim)
Risk factors indicate a possibility of high-risk behavior. But, if a young person is already involved in an abusive relationship, they may exhibit specific warning signs. Love is Not Abuse, a leading provider of information regarding domestic abuse, lists the following as common indicators of ongoing dating abuse:

• Loss of interest in activities that he/she used to enjoy [5].
• No longer hanging out with his/her circle of friends.
• Wearing the same clothing [by request of boyfriend/girlfriend].
• Distracted during conversations.
• Constantly checking cell phone, or gets extremely upset when asked to turn phone off.
• Withdrawn, quieter than usual.
• Angry, irritable when asked how they are doing.
• Making excuses for their boyfriend/girlfriend.
• Showering immediately after getting home.
• Unexplained scratches or bruises. [6]

Warning Signs (Abuser)

• Has unreasonable expectations about partner’s availability to receive and respond to messages.
• Becomes angry and expresses hostility if text messages and other electronic communication are not answered.
• Interaction (via text, email, and phone) with friend/partner frequently seems to result in moodiness, anger, sadness, fear, or anxiety. [7]
• Calls partner names and puts him/her down in front of others.
• Acts extremely jealous of others who pay attention to partner.
• Thinks or tells partner that his/her parent(s), don’t like them.
• Controls partner’s behavior (e.g. checking up constantly, calling or texting,and demanding to know who he/she has been with). [5]

Upstander Action

Reduce Risk Factors
Many of the risk factors for dating violence include exposure to relationship violence in the community, among peers, or within families. Plan community and school events which promote healthy relationships and the safe and healthy use of technology within these relationships. Organize parenting classes and raise awareness for local family counseling options.

Increase Factors for Prevention
Whenever possible, model & discuss safe and healthy technology use. Involve young people in the discussion. Ask them questions about their experiences and how these experiences impacted them positively or negatively.

When appropriate, use social networks to connect with young people in your sphere of influence. Use this connection to enhance positive offline interaction and detect signs of violence. If you witness a teen boy repeatedly making critical or controlling remarks on his girlfriend’s facebook wall—intervene. This online interaction may not indicate offline physical abuse, but it is a form of emotional abuse. Talk with both parties. Depending on the severity of the comments posted, notify parents and the school counselor.

In addition, use offline interactions to monitor possible abuse through technology. For example, if you overhear a teen girl demanding her boyfriend’s password—intervene. Use the moment as an opportunity to teach appropriate technology boundaries.

References:

1. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2010, August 24). Suicide: Prevention Strategies. Retrieved from http://www.cdc.gov/ViolencePrevention/suicide/prevention.html
2. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2010). Understanding Teen Dating Violence: Fact Sheet. Retrieved from: http://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/TeenDatingViolence_2010-a.pdf
3. A Thin Line. (2010). 2009 AP-MTV Digital Abuse Study. Retrieved from: http://www.athinline.org/MTV-AP_Digital_Abuse_Study_Executive_Summary.pdf
4. McIntosh, E.G. (2011, March 8). Emotional Bruises: Your Teen Need Not Have Physical Scars to be Considered a Victim of Dating Abuse. Retrieved from http://www.silive.com/relationships/index.ssf/2011/03/post_2.html
5. Love is Not Abuse. (2011). A List of Warning Signs. Retrieved from: http://loveisnotabuse.com/web/guest/a-list-of-warning-signs;jsessionid=D78CD0E8D82C594BE7FCF7CE4B7E6781
6. Miller, E. (2011). About Relationship Abuse. Retrieved from: http://loveisnotabuse.com/web/guest/a-letter-to-parents
7. Ciarlante, M. (2009, February 6). Responding to Technology Abuse in Teen Dating Violence. Retrieved from: http://blog.tpronline.org/?p=259